apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
