i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
