do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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