Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
