I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
