matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
