hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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