grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
