How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
