They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
