2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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