don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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