Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
