So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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