All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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