She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
