Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
