You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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