In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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