Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
