The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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