she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize