Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need a burrito and a hug.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
