I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
