Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
