No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
