My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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