TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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