i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
