is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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