I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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