I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
