okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
