bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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