make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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