Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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