lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
