grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
