Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
