I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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