Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
