You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
