you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
