Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
