i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
