I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
