Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
its liver damage thursday
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
