My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
