the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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