Cold hands, warm shart.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm having to shit out rocks
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
