I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
