u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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