U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
