I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
