No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize