i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
