I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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