somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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