I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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