I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
