am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
