Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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