i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize