this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
