that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Panties = found
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize