is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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