I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I didn't shave. On purpose
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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