FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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