You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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