can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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